As a proponent for fraternity and sorority life, I sometimes hear stories of membership gone wrong. A long-time chapter advisor tells me that her daughter pledged and joined another organization. Mom tried to tell daughter that it sounded as if the chapter was hazing. Daughter poo-pooed Mom. Daughter initiated then noticed when on a visit to a friend on another campus, in a different organization, that there really were serious problems in her chapter, just as her Mom had suspected. Daughter never really felt a part of her chapter after that. Mom feels bad that her daughter’s experience wasn’t as optimal as it could and should have been.
Another friend tells me that her daughter is going through recruitment on a campus with a very small sorority system. She tells me that her daughter has her heart set on one particular chapter. My friend calls me a little while later and says that her daughter is heartbroken because she did not get a bid from the chapter she had her heart set on.*
An acquaintance in town tells me that she, too, belongs to my organization, but that during her junior year she wanted to resign her membership and her parents wouldn’t let her. Technically she is still a member, but she severed ties decades ago (and, as she said, “there is no need to send me the yearly alumnae club mailing”).
In a perfect world, these situations would not exist. Every single member of every Greek-letter organization would have an optimal experience. Just as engaged couples marry for the best of reasons, with the highest of hopes, not all marriages remain viable. Things happen. Sometimes it gets messy. People divorce.
The season for officer transition is underway. All over the country, gavels are handed from one president to the next. That is one of the most wonderful things about Greek-letter organizations; they are a great training ground. The future of every chapter is put into the hands of its undergraduates. There are minefields out there, too, especially when a chapter doesn’t “get it.” Chapters can be encouraged to send members to all sorts of training sessions, by the Greek-letter organization itself, on campus, or at regional events, but if the officers and/or the members do not realize the gift they have in their hands, things can happened. One stupid idea, like an offensive event theme, can derail the finest of chapters.
I, like some of you who read this blog, know what it is like to get a letter from your GLO HQ announcing the closure of your chapter. Sometimes it happens, not because of some awful event, or years of chapter stupidity, but because the chapter’s membership numbers are not competitive on the campus. Whatever the reason for the closure, it still feels like the loss of a very good friend.
I was one of those members who did not “get it” when I first joined. It was not until I became hooked on the history of the chapter and the organization that I finally realized why it was so special. All those women who had come before me, who had stood where I was standing, were now counting on me to do my part in keep the chapter and organization viable for future generations of women.
Yes, I know, I am preaching to the choir. I thank you choir members for being here. Your presence is very much appreciated. And we can always use a few more voices.
*This situation had a happy ending. I encouraged my friend to suggest to her daughter that she become involved in other organizations. Daughter went through recruitment again, was offered a bid from the chapter she wanted to join and is now a devoted chapter member.
© Fran Becque, www.fraternityhistory, 2014. All Rights Reserved.
