Raise your hand if you’ve ever looked at your phone and pretended to be engrossed in something in order to avoid dealing with other people. Or if you’ve ever used headphones or ear buds as a way to tune out those around you.
I often say that life is just one big rush/recruitment party. The ability to meet new people and make common connections is an important one and it enters into almost every adult situation – finding a job, acing an interview, moving to a new city, making friends, finding a spouse/partner, moving to a new neighborhood, and on an on.
But finding common ground in a polarized society is not easy. People tend to surround themselves with those who think as they do. And they dislike/hate those who think differently. After all, it is easier to just dismiss entire groups of people than to take the time and energy to find common ground.
As one who is a proponent of Greek-Letter Organizations, I know all to well the prejudices that some people have against these organizations. Sometimes these prejudices stem from a bad experience – their own or that of a family member/friend, but oftentimes the intense hatred of GLOs stems from no experience at all. They hate fraternities and sororities simply because they hate fraternities and sororities.
It’s much harder to hate someone when you share common interests. Agreeing to disagree has lost its value in today’s society. Social media is a misnomer in my book. Anti-social media might be a better descriptor because it takes arguing and disagreeing and being offended to new heights. Yet, I am reminded of something I saw on social media. It involved a dog barking furiously and ferociously at another dog on the other side of a glass door. However, when the door opened, the barking dog retreated and walked away. It seemed like a good metaphor for the interactions that take place in social media.
It was this quote in the obituary of a friend’s father that planted the seed for this post, “Despite having opposite political affiliations, our friendship ‘across the aisle’ endured a half century because, while we differed and disagreed, we never argued or got angry.” The friends obviously had common ground on which to stand and appreciate one another.
It is much too easy to label those who think and feel differently, dismiss them and be done with it. Finding common ground, making connections, discovering the goodness in us all takes time and effort. But the rewards, the betterment of all of us, is worth that effort.
Put down the phone. Open your ears. Start talking to those around you. Ask questions. Find connections. Be civil. Make new friends. Be a part of the solution, not part of the problem.
