My friend, an anthropologist, occasionally reads this blog. The topics really aren’t of interest to her, but every now and then she’ll remark on something I’ve written. I am not sure she understands Greek-letter organizations at all, but she knows that is my field of interest and where my passion is, so she indulges me. I recently accompanied her on 240-mile trip to her dentist and back; during the four hours of driving, we caught up in what we were both doing.
“Your life would be different had you not joined,” she remarked at mile 95. Her insight was spot on. It reminded me of a poem, Loyal Ties, written by a Pi Phi whose friendship I treasured, Evelyn Peters Kyle, a former Grand Council member. “So think what your life might have been, If Pi Phi hadn’t said, ‘Come in!'”
I consider myself an “Accidental Sorority Woman.” My only reason for signing up for recruitment at Syracuse University was to go on house tours and see the insides of the houses. The New York Alpha Chapter of Pi Beta Phi fit me like the world’s most comfortable shoe, and much to my surprise, I became a member.
Clueless is the only word I can use to describe my recruitment and new member days. The 1970s were not kind to the Greek system at Syracuse; 25 of the 26 National Panhellenic Conference (NPC) organizations have been there at one time or another (FYI – Sigma Sigma Sigma is the only hold-out). When I went through recruitment, there were no more than 15 NPC chapters on campus, and one group had no members, only sorority personnel recruiting for a new member class.
My chapter faced a number of challenges and I learned many lessons. No doubt, my life would be very different had I not joined, or had I resigned my membership when a group of women I considered my closest friends left the organization. I met my husband during my senior year when his sister, a new member, moved into the house after the Christmas break. We were married ten months later (and no, I wasn’t pregnant). That year, my future sister-in-law was the chapter’s convention delegate. She, not me, was there when I was named that year’s Chapter Service Award winner. It was an honor like no other. Since that time, I have shared my time, talents, and treasures with Pi Beta Phi. I have tried to play it forward and regift the faith which was placed in me.
Panhellenic recruitment is in full swing. Wonderful women are being courted to become new members. There are many factors that come into play during recruitment. While I wish every recruitment had a fairy tale ending, that’s just not realistic. Sometimes, women do not match up with the chapter they want the most. Some women drop out of recruitment rather than have the experience play out any other way than what they deem as perfect. It is truly their loss. I feel for the woman who drops out rather than have the sorority experience in a chapter other than the one she decided on before she even stepped in the door. I know very few people, perhaps none, whose life hasn’t been touched by a curve ball or two (or three). Dealing with these curve balls is a valuable life lesson and helps make us who we are.
And most of all, I feel the best part of being in a fraternity or sorority is in giving to it, not taking from it. That’s hard to comprehend when new members are being showered with love and gifts. Enjoy the experience, because it will soon be the new members turn to accept the mantle of leadership. To paraphrase President John F. Kennedy, “Ask not what your GLO can do for you, ask what you can do for your GLO.”
Women going through recruitment might want to read my previous posts on the 4 Bs of Sorority Recruitment http://wp.me/p20I1i-1L5 and the ABCs of NPC History http://wp.me/p20I1i-1Id.
(c) Fran Becque, www.fraternityhistory.com, 2014. All Rights Reserved. If you enjoyed this post, please sign up for updates. Also follow me on twitter @GLOHistory and Pinterest www.pinterest.com/glohistory/
